The Problem with Wishes.

By Robert Haynie

(I don't own Oh My Goddess. And if you read this, you'll probably
decide that's a good thing.)

####

Hiro Kendachi picked up the phone, and dialed. Dreading what would
likely happen.

"Hello, Goddess Help li-"

Click.

(Not again. For WEEKS I can't order ramen or any food or call my
girlfriend or Mom or ANYTHING without... Oh, GOD! The TV IS ON!)

Before Hiro could grab the remote, said TV ejected what most people
would consider an incredibly beautiful woman, but what Hiro
considered the second largest pain in the ass in the known universe.

"Hello, Urd. *sigh*"

"Hey, Hiro! You got another one already?"

"Why do you people do this to me?"

Urd stood and smoothed her skirt (what there was of it) and grinned.
"Well, because you're the nicest guy on earth. Let's see... saved
three lives, helped eighteen old ladies across the street, removes
six cats from trees-- by the way, one of those was really a girl, and
she sent up a special prayer for you-- and that new treatment for
cancer. This week."

"Look, I can't HELP it! I see someone in trouble, and I help! And I
don't see why you can't stop it with the wishes!"

"Hey, YOU'RE the one that keeps earning them."

"And I don't want them! It's not right to accept an award for doing
the right thing, and they just get me in trouble anyway!"

Urd sighed. "Well, I suppose it's not your fault about that. You KNOW
how much you hack off Hell. So they keep trying to mess with them."

"I would hate Mara if I knew how to hate."

"Sigh... well, can you just get it over with? You know how the
Ultimate Force feels about unused wishes."

Hiro began to think-- carefully.

"And Hiro, you don't HAVE to wish for something helpful to others.
You can try to wish for something for yourself."

"I wouldn't feel right about that..."

"Well, maybe it will break your problem streak. A LITTLE bit of
selfishness might get you off the wishlist, so to speak."

Hiro paused. "Okay. I wish for a date with a beautiful woman."

Urd paused. Lights flared. She nodded. "Granted."

####

Three days later--

"Pops, you got me engaged AGAIN?"

"Hiro's a NICE boy, Ran-- Agh! ARRGGH! OW! THAT DOESN'T BEND THAT
WAY-- OWWW!"

Hiro sighed. "How did it get to this? And you don't have to, Miss
Ranma."

The girl just glared at him while somewhere a demon laughed, and the
gods decided to give another wish to make up for it...